Losing my way?

Tomorrow night will mark the start of my first mid-term examination for the first semester of my first year in UKM. As it would be my first exam ever during my time here, I don’t know how it is going to be. I can’t even begin to imagine what it’s going to be like and I’m scared for myself as I will be facing the unknown. Even though the situation is like that, I definitely can’t say that I have thoroughly prepared to take the exam. Why? Well, obviously it’s because I DIDN’T EVEN FREAKING STUDY YET!

NO...!

This made me wonder what the hell I have been doing all this time. By studying, what I meant was that you would be seated properly with (mountain of) books in front of you and be able to do so for several hours non-stop while concentrating hard on the content of each book and then practicing what you have revised to gauge your own understanding of the knowledge. And that ladies and gentlemen, is what I can’t seem to do for my upcoming exam.

Must...study.....

All I’m capable of doing is rearrange my books so it would look neat while I’m studying (supposedly) and take out my stationary to help me in my (unbearable and tough) journey called studying. But that only lasts for at most 30 minutes. Yeah, I’m pathetic (or even worse). I just can’t seem to sum up enough concentration to study until the end and I would just give up midway of doing it. It’s either I would get distracted by something totally unrelated to the subject or I’ll start daydreaming. What is wrong with me?

All this complaining, sighing and wondering won’t get me anywhere. That much I am aware of. Some of you might even said to yourself or thinking that ‘if you have time to be posting on this blog than you might just as well go study for your exam’. But I just can’t, OKAY! I AM AGONIZING OVER THIS PART OF MYSELF TOO! My heart would start beating out of rhythm and my feeling would get anxious whenever I think about it.

Thus, my last options are remembering my parents and turning to the Almighty God. People said that whenever you are facing difficulties dealing with yourself, just remember what your parents will be feeling from the result of your doing. This works for me sometimes and it especially get to me whenever I start thinking of my mother (she’s a queen in my heart).  She has sacrificed so much in her life for the better of her children and for that reason I am greatly indebted and grateful towards her.

Love you, Mom <3

And then, when all else fail, like any other muslim in this world, I raised my hand and prayed to Allah. I sincerely wish that I would be rewarded with your vast and precious knowledge of this world and for me to achieve that, I beg to You, the one and only, give me the strength to continue on this road I have chosen in order to pursue Your knowledge. Amin.

A blogger regards ^__^